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LoginEven pillow talk apparently has its boundaries. New research suggests that when it comes to race, the duration of a relationship affects how comfortable Black women are with having these conversations with white male partners. Love conquers all. Mtshali reported in a recent article in Sociological Forum that nearly all Black women spoke to their partners about these issues, but those in relationships of shorter duration felt there were limits to what they could say. A total of 21 Black women were interviewed as part of the research. For the study Mtshali also interviewed 15 white men between October and February and from July to January Mtshali was involved in an interracial relationship at the time and said that influenced her work, especially given how few studies had been done on relationships between Black women and white men. In one example, Mtshali spoke with Amber, a year-old Black woman married to year-old white man named Ryan. Amber felt she needed to repeatedly explain racism to her husband, who only agreed with her when he saw it for himself. While interviewing these two different pairings, the sociologist discovered that Black men were less likely to talk to white female partners about racial issues because they felt their partners would not understand.
A few minority background callers described feeling reduced to only one facet of their identity due to sexual racism. A woman of Indian background felt no strong cultural connection to India but was often placed in the position of being tokenised because of her heritage. The discussion featured the talented Zambian-Australian journalist and documentary filmmaker Santilla Chingapie. She reflected on her SBS documentary Date My Race, where she shared her personal experiences being discriminated against as a Black Australian woman on dating apps. White Australian counsellor Sue Pratt talked about the challenging patterns that interracial couples experience as they attempt to work through cultural differences, as well as strategies to manage intercultural respect in relationships. He expressed a curiosity about dating White women and why they may not be interested in him as an Asian man.
Skip navigation! Last Updated June 2, , PM. Thanks for reading Can We Talk? This week, we heard from Refinery29 readers about how communicating about race impacted their relationships in the face of microaggressions and racism from family and friends. Submit it here or send us an email at CanWeTalk Refinery
Interracial relationships are potrayed as social phenomenons to be fetishized and commodified. And perhaps most unforgivingly, this outlook strips the conversation of the only thing worth discussing: how power operates in our most intimate spaces. Media commonly makes the mistake of portraying interracial relationships with white people as shining examples of racial progress [and] assuming interracial relationships between people of color are devoid of any need for progress, or even learning.
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