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LoginThings you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission. In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me. He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.
This story originally appeared on xoJane. I drive a red Camaro. One of them was to try my hand at stand-up comedy. So, how did I end up in this situation? Well, since my divorce, my experiences in the online dating world have been pretty disastrous, to say the least. Not that it was very different from the responses I got from men my age — they were just far less eager and often downright aloof. No thanks.
Even though relationships with large age gaps have existed forever, there's still a lot of stigma and taboo that surrounds them. When we look at the cultural conversation around relationships with big age gaps, there's usually two main judgements. The first one is the concern that the younger person is being exploited by the older partner, especially when there's money, status, sex and power involved. And the second is that the older partner usually a man is dating someone younger usually a woman because they value 'youth and beauty' and therefore contributing to the toxic idea that women are less valuable as they age, aka the backlash against Leonardo DiCaprio or Taylor Swift's All Too Well - 10 minute version. While there's relationships with large age gaps that are exploitative which we'll chat about , dating someone a lot older than you isn't necessarily problematic, and for some people it can actually have a lot of positive benefits.
People who were in relationships with someone significantly older or younger talk about their experiences. While we know and accept that relationships take work, today we want to explore what the experience is like for couples with a significant age-gap. From having to deal with different generational influences, to priorities, to traditions, to limited shared interests not forgetting the social stigma and judgement from society, folks got candid with their experiences. Scroll below to read all about the complications of dating someone outside your age range.
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