Dating grad students

GUEST ROOM | Should Grad Students Be Banned From Dating Each Other?

My dating life for the past seven years has been a series of starts and stops, misunderstandings and miscommunications, and unrequited loves galore. If I fall, when I fall, I fall hard and am essentially inconsolable until I completely move on, which, to the chagrin of my inner circle, could be years. I honestly still cringe at the number of hours I spent crying over the dude I was in love with the last half of college. Whew, chillay. In undergrad, everything was so ephemeral and there was no pressure. Not to mention, I was at UVA on a mission to get that degree and nothing else mattered. When I emerged four years later, with a degree in hand, I barely had any relationships to show for it, friends or otherwise. But now? Being a grad student is the start of my career, not just preparation.

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To the first concern, there are policies that prevent relationships between individuals in a supervisory capacity and those whom they are supervising. Although relationships between graduate and undergraduate students are not strictly prohibited, the guidelines warn of possible infringement on state anti-discrimination policies. So, if the graduate student is in one of these roles, it is in both of your best interests to end the relationship.

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Last year at a conference I was talking to one of my mentors about how it felt to be in the final year of a PhD. Her reply summed it up:. Relationships are incompatible with PhDs, seems to be the conclusion. Put most simply, being the partner of a PhD student largely means accepting that the Thesis is the biggest part of both of your lives , and is a far bigger player in how your relationship goes than either of you are.

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The Wasteland: Dating in Grad School

Discover how we've helped doctoral students complete their dissertations and advance their academic careers! Last Updated on: 5th June , am. Are you dating a PhD student, or married to one? Watching your spouse go through the PhD process can be confusing at best and downright terrible at worst. Your partner may have to be away for hours or days at a time.

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