Dating douchebags

How to Date a Douchebag

Read on for true encounters so shocking, you might feel compelled to take a shower…in bleach. About the author. Brenda Della Casa. Skip to content. Choosing to run, hide, deny and ignore instead of communicate respectfully and effectively is cowardly at best and often douchey. Shirtless photo-in-the-mirror profile pics? Duck lips? Double douche. Oompa-loompa orange tan with frosted lips, fake nails and tramp stamp? How old are we?

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Everybody has their area of expertise. While my friends work their way towards becoming functional members of society, real career paths included, I continue accumulating experience in douchebag analysis, tallying up those 10, hours to become an expert. As a result, I have garnered a rather keen understanding of the nature of the Dbag game, equipped with its own repugnant code of conduct! Before you begin, decide if its even worth it. The only dbags deserving such dramatic avenge are the Level 10 douches who make their cases clear from the get-go with the usual indicators of a wandering eye and low follow-through. If you feel like being the Robin Hood of females, bravo, but be aware that real douchebags do not change their spot and the entire experience will be but a quick entertainment fix and practice for future husband taming.

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Girls date douchebags because all we really want is a man to dominate us and make us stay in the kitchen. To me, any girl that wants to be treated like trash is trash. I'm not a "nice guy", but I do respect women that respect themselves enough to avoid men that really are douchebags.

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The Basic Douchebag

I always find that spending time with my year-old niece is an invaluable experience that allows me to see life through a simplistic prism and reaffirms the notion once so effectively conveyed via Mean Girls: real life mirrors high school. Eventually, I developed a defense reflex against Basic Douchebags and began teetering more towards the Freaks and Weirdos end of the Dbag spectrum, and yet the memories of the Basic Douchebag stayed with me forever. So what, exactly, qualifies one for this eminent title? To start, the Basic Douchebag usually has a deeply-rooted sense of confidence that comes from being moderately attractive from a young age, allowing him to avoid any sort of fat-kid or nerd complexes that eventually build excellent human beings.

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