Dating a southern gentleman

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But when my friends say it — whether male or female — it sounds almost like an insult. My fellow Thought Catalog contributor, Jack Cazir, published a piece earlier this month that serves as a manifesto of sorts for the proverbial Good Guy — or, as he terms it, the Southern Gentleman. There is a deafening cry of late that chivalry, romance, and courtship went the way of the dodo sometime in the early nineties — perhaps with the rise of grunge and Liv Tyler, no one quite knows. Far from it. As Cazir points out, many men still take immense pride in treating others including those they pursue romantically with the utmost respect. And these men, though perhaps fewer and farther between than a few generations ago, are worth all the more by continuing to embrace the importance of respect and honor even when it is not explicitly required of them. And, as Cazir mentions, this type of man is separated in spirit from the rest — not in social status or earnings. Whether a man is working doubles at Starbucks or excelling at a Fortune company, it is the attitude and motivation behind what he does that counts. It is easy to lose sight of the true distinction between the two — that someone can be trying and struggling, versus succeeding with relative ease — and renders the difference between the Southern Gentleman and those simply rewarded by society at large all the more hard to see.

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Studies have found that Americans love accents. Although the British accent comes in first for most accent-adoring folks, when it comes to accents here in the United States, it's the southern drawl that's winning fans left and right, according to a study from the dating site Cupid. If it's the Southern accent that's most desirable, do Southern men live up to their charm in other ways, too? Why, yes, they do. They don't call them "Southern gentlemen" for nothing. Between crowdsourcing, research, and some insight from North Carolina-born New York City writer, Lilit Marcus , we have got it all figured out for you. So, why do southern guys make the best boyfriends?

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I will admit to being partially biased on this topic, as my roots are about as deep-fried and Southern-grown as they can be. That being said, I have lived in what I believe to be the greatest city in the world, New York City, for five-and-a-half years, and I have traveled to almost every state in the US during my time here. As a self-proclaimed feminist, some people are surprised I value the traditional traits of a Southern man. While I do think there are some stereotypes about the traditional male-female gender roles still true in the South, my experience with true Southern men has been nothing but empowering and encouraging. These days, in a respectable and valiant attempt to place men and women on the same playing field, chivalry seems to be viewed as demeaning or sexist. With this mindset, we are at risk of losing basic respect for one another and the idea that women are special and to be treated as such is quickly headed for the door.

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Southern Hospitality: Sex & Dating In The South

The piece spawned plenty of responses — my favorite being an equally insightful piece from fellow Thought Catalog contributor Karyn Spencer — and in the discussions that followed men, in general, have taken a beating. Successful men recognize their scarcity and exploit it, playing the field with the sort of joie de vivre you might expect from a UNC fraternity brother , leaving their female counterparts in the unenviable position of having to tolerate their behavior or else significantly lower their expectations. They are finding it easier than ever to date upward, to latch onto lonely sugarmamas, to fall into a relationship despite themselves. It is, however, worrying , and for men, as well.

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