Bruna
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LoginAm I a 'race traitor' for dating white people? As someone who's slept with and dated many white men, and someone currently in a relationship with a white man, the idea of the "race traitor" is something I'm particularly attuned to. Even though it shouldn't matter, my first crush was on a Filipino boy, my first kiss was with a Vietnamese boy and I've dated and slept with men of varying ethnicities. For what it's worth, non-white boys have broken up with me as many times as I have broken up with them, and I've been on dates with more non-white women than white women. But that's the point — it shouldn't matter.
The future of our relationship depends entirely on his answer. Some people may see no harm in a man who dabbled for a couple of years in Final Fantasy , orders Thai food at least once a week on Deliveroo, and has a penchant for Taoism. As an East Asian woman, these are red alert flags for me: abort mission. Society has taught us, especially first-generation immigrants, that validation comes with being invited to sit next to white people — even though none of us will ever actually make it to the table. Dating as a woman of colour is stressful under any circumstances.
I was born in a small port town in Japan and moved to Eugene, Oregon, when I was 5 years old, where I lived until I graduated college. Friends casually called us racial slurs. I brushed most of these comments off as well-intentioned, if misguided, jokes.
When you stop looking for whiteness in yourself, you stop looking for it in your partners, writes Naomii Seah. I decided to stop dating white men long before I broke up with my last partner of that persuasion. It was the mid-autumn festival of October My partner was beside me, his lanky arms draped over my bed frame as he watched me peel the cakes from their festive red packaging. Although they were a bit dented, the ornate mooncakes were still glossy brown in their plastic trays, smelling of spiced flour and rich red beans.
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6/28/2024
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